It has been two very long weeks. Lately, I haven't felt like talking much, let alone actually typing and writing out any type of thoughts.
Recently, I have had to deal with something that feels quite alien to me: the passing away of a student. Most people would not have a problem with this, or, if they did, would be able to handle it easily.
I am not one of those people.
This is not something that I know how to deal with. Not to mention, it is an area that is shaded gray. I know how to feel when I loved one dies. Sad. Upset. Angry. Glad that they're not in pain anymore. They were close to me and I will look back fondly on our relationship.
Can't do that here.
Joe* was an excellent student. I remember the first day of class, he was so bored after completing a classwork assignment in under five minutes that I had to assign him three people to coach. He was bright, for sure, but also very reserved. He mostly kept to himself and only really interacted with people when it was necessary.
When we got to the more difficult math's (geometry, algebra and linear equations), he became the most attentive person. I would see him taking notes, answering questions, doing extra classwork, and very rarely did he finish an assignment as quickly as he finished that first one. He was a joy to teach. He never pestered me with silly questions, never complained and never turned in incomplete homework.
I saw him the day before he passed away. By then, he had already taken his G.E.D. exam. I was in the stride of a whole new class filled with new problems. He was sitting quietly at a lunch table. I said hello to him and smiled.
That was the last time I got to speak with him.
After recounting the events leading up to his passing, I noticed a couple of little things that were off about him but had written them off as a part of his introverted nature. Perhaps I was wrong. I wondered if I had done something wrong. Part of our jobs as teachers is to notice things that, normally, would go unnoticed.
I am sad to say that this man not only got his G.E.D. but also received the highest score in his class, making him our Valedictorian. I've been wracking my brain, trying to figure out something that we can do for him, to honor him. So far, everything that I've come up with sounds either too cheesy or too impossible to actually do.
In any case, it is just a little bit harder to understand the world when it feels like all the bright, talented and smart people are dying.
*The name has been changed for privacy reasons.
Showing posts with label life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label life. Show all posts
Friday, March 6, 2009
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Stepping Stones (2nd Draft)
(In order to get some of my creative juices flowing (thatswhatshesaid), I decided to visit one of my favorite blogs to look for an easy prompt to right about. Although it was easy to figure out the twelve stepping stones in my life, it was not so easy to write descriptions of them. Here is my first attempt that I have ever so slightly drafted, edited and made to look as pretty as I could...)
My good friend, Em, is taking a class in the Methods of Teaching English...The prompt basically asks the writer to imagine their life as a series of twelve stepping stones, each one with representing an accomplishment or growth and write about them.
1. I was born...October 5, 1982 - (Fun Fact - I was almost born in San Diego which was where my parents were living when they found out that I was on the way...but then my dad got a great opportunity to get his PhD at Catholic University and took it.)
2. I got the part of Suzy Snowflake in an elementary school production at school. It even had a solo... It really launched me into my love of music and motivated me to want to do more. (1989 or 1990)
3. I got into Thomas G. Pullen Creative and Performing Arts Magnet School for music (specifically singing.) I was the one that brought my already filled out application to my parents and begged them to let me audition. The audition, so easy, that at the time I wondered if I would do better just finding a vocal coach on my own. This is one of my few moments where my true determination, drive and motivation paid off. (June 1994)
4. My first boyfriend, Ricky, sang for me in front of everyone. He was a little bit of country, and I was a little bit of rock and roll. He sang a very country version of "I swear." It was sweet and I'll never forget it. It reminded me that, although I felt starved for attention (hey - I'm an only child), I was being noticed by the people around me. (Fall 1994)
5. Getting into the school musical, Cinderella Trilogy - I have never been good at auditions. But, somehow, I got a small part dancing in our production of The Cinderella Trilogy. The great things were that I was with my friends (sans Jessica who left TGP) and we were singing, dancing and acting together. We even missed school for two weeks to do the production twice a day. I will never forget those days and long for them to come back. It was an accomplishment just to be involved. I was surrounded by wonderfully talented friends. (1996)
6. I started studying with my first voice teacher, Robin Henshaw. She was recommended to me by Niki Zook and, after a semester of lessons with her, I told her of my plans to try and get into Chamber Choir. She was, of course, sweet and encouraging. She was honest about the amount of work that would be involved in getting into better vocal shape. We worked hard changing my bad habits. It worked and she is one of my constant sources of inspiration. (1998)
7. Getting into and singing with Chamber Choir - My senior year was full of amazing things. I sang Alto in the Chamber Choir (an elite 12 person choir...only the best of the best were in this class). We had a great time and I was partnered up some amazing singers...Anyone who knows me now would be shocked that I was singing Alto (with my large range) but I like to think it was because people realized that my voice is the type that fills in the gaps...it smooths other voices over or blends them better...I don't really know how to explain it any other way. (June 1999)
8. Bye Bye Birdie - I finally got a good role in a musical my senior year - Mrs. MacAfee. It was good singing, I had lots of costume changes (because I also sang and danced in almost every group number as a teenager as well), and I felt like I belonged. I truly loved being on stage... (April 2000)
9. Getting into college wasn't hard. It took very little time or effort on my part. I hardly did any work to even get into the voice program at UMBC. However, when I auditioned for Opera workshop and got my first big role in an opera, that was a lot of work. I played Laetitia in The Old Maid and the Thief by Gian Carlo Menotti. I was also in Street Scene (but I don't remember what role). It was wonderful and uplifting (except for that one moment that someone tried to kick me in the face). (2002)
10. I don't think my voice has really matured or changed as much as my teachers had liked. I tried to sing harder music to prove to them that I was a good singer but to no avail. My senior recital hearing was one of the worst days of my life. First off, I was so nervous, debuting a new piece that was really much harder than my voice could handle. Second, I was still very ill and tired which made it harder for me to concentrate, practice, and sing. I did well (and passed) but they didn't pass the one song that I wanted so desperately to sing. To this day, I will not sing it for anyone. The song was "Dove sono i bei momenti" from The Marriage of Figaro. (November 2004)
11. I didn't think that I would ever feel more linked to someone in my entire life than the day that we got married. It was a big step and not one that I took lightly. I talked to death with friends, family, my priest and especially my husband about this big day. A lot of work went into that day. Not everything was perfect and many things went wrong. But I will not change any of those things. One of my favorite memories from that day: walking down the aisle to beautiful 8 part Rachmaninoff. (2006)
12. "Those who can't do, teach." I tried to satiate my thirst for music and performing with opening my own studio out of our home, cleverly named La Voce Dolce. A year later, I closed it down. (2007)
My good friend, Em, is taking a class in the Methods of Teaching English...The prompt basically asks the writer to imagine their life as a series of twelve stepping stones, each one with representing an accomplishment or growth and write about them.
1. I was born...October 5, 1982 - (Fun Fact - I was almost born in San Diego which was where my parents were living when they found out that I was on the way...but then my dad got a great opportunity to get his PhD at Catholic University and took it.)
2. I got the part of Suzy Snowflake in an elementary school production at school. It even had a solo... It really launched me into my love of music and motivated me to want to do more. (1989 or 1990)
3. I got into Thomas G. Pullen Creative and Performing Arts Magnet School for music (specifically singing.) I was the one that brought my already filled out application to my parents and begged them to let me audition. The audition, so easy, that at the time I wondered if I would do better just finding a vocal coach on my own. This is one of my few moments where my true determination, drive and motivation paid off. (June 1994)
4. My first boyfriend, Ricky, sang for me in front of everyone. He was a little bit of country, and I was a little bit of rock and roll. He sang a very country version of "I swear." It was sweet and I'll never forget it. It reminded me that, although I felt starved for attention (hey - I'm an only child), I was being noticed by the people around me. (Fall 1994)
5. Getting into the school musical, Cinderella Trilogy - I have never been good at auditions. But, somehow, I got a small part dancing in our production of The Cinderella Trilogy. The great things were that I was with my friends (sans Jessica who left TGP) and we were singing, dancing and acting together. We even missed school for two weeks to do the production twice a day. I will never forget those days and long for them to come back. It was an accomplishment just to be involved. I was surrounded by wonderfully talented friends. (1996)
6. I started studying with my first voice teacher, Robin Henshaw. She was recommended to me by Niki Zook and, after a semester of lessons with her, I told her of my plans to try and get into Chamber Choir. She was, of course, sweet and encouraging. She was honest about the amount of work that would be involved in getting into better vocal shape. We worked hard changing my bad habits. It worked and she is one of my constant sources of inspiration. (1998)
7. Getting into and singing with Chamber Choir - My senior year was full of amazing things. I sang Alto in the Chamber Choir (an elite 12 person choir...only the best of the best were in this class). We had a great time and I was partnered up some amazing singers...Anyone who knows me now would be shocked that I was singing Alto (with my large range) but I like to think it was because people realized that my voice is the type that fills in the gaps...it smooths other voices over or blends them better...I don't really know how to explain it any other way. (June 1999)
8. Bye Bye Birdie - I finally got a good role in a musical my senior year - Mrs. MacAfee. It was good singing, I had lots of costume changes (because I also sang and danced in almost every group number as a teenager as well), and I felt like I belonged. I truly loved being on stage... (April 2000)
9. Getting into college wasn't hard. It took very little time or effort on my part. I hardly did any work to even get into the voice program at UMBC. However, when I auditioned for Opera workshop and got my first big role in an opera, that was a lot of work. I played Laetitia in The Old Maid and the Thief by Gian Carlo Menotti. I was also in Street Scene (but I don't remember what role). It was wonderful and uplifting (except for that one moment that someone tried to kick me in the face). (2002)
10. I don't think my voice has really matured or changed as much as my teachers had liked. I tried to sing harder music to prove to them that I was a good singer but to no avail. My senior recital hearing was one of the worst days of my life. First off, I was so nervous, debuting a new piece that was really much harder than my voice could handle. Second, I was still very ill and tired which made it harder for me to concentrate, practice, and sing. I did well (and passed) but they didn't pass the one song that I wanted so desperately to sing. To this day, I will not sing it for anyone. The song was "Dove sono i bei momenti" from The Marriage of Figaro. (November 2004)
11. I didn't think that I would ever feel more linked to someone in my entire life than the day that we got married. It was a big step and not one that I took lightly. I talked to death with friends, family, my priest and especially my husband about this big day. A lot of work went into that day. Not everything was perfect and many things went wrong. But I will not change any of those things. One of my favorite memories from that day: walking down the aisle to beautiful 8 part Rachmaninoff. (2006)
12. "Those who can't do, teach." I tried to satiate my thirst for music and performing with opening my own studio out of our home, cleverly named La Voce Dolce. A year later, I closed it down. (2007)
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